Sexed Up
by Ben Myatt
Summary: its NOT what it seesm from the title. rather, its a songfic about Kaji and Misato's breakup. its also rubbish.


Disclaimer: Here is a statement that is not true: both the Robbie Williams song 'Sexed Up' and Neon Genesis Evangelion belong to me.

…I love confusing disclaimers.

_Sexed Up.___

_*******_

_By Ben Myatt.___

_***********_

Kaji Ryohji looked down through bleary eyes into the glass in his hand. The dark amber liquid swirled invitingly, seductively. Hell, who was he to deny such an obvious proposal. He lifted the glass to his lips, and took a deep swallow.

'_Damn you, Misato Katsuragi._'

The thought sprung unbidden to his mind, and he closed his drink-hazed eyes, pulling back the tears within. Although he hadn't been dumb enough to show her it, the words that she had spoken had hit him harder than he cared to admit. 

****

_Loose lips sunk ships_

_I'm getting to grips_

_With what you've said._

****

What the hell had she gone and said that for? Things had been going great. And he hadn't even had the chance to tell her…

No. Push the thought away. Don't linger there. It wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't bring her back to him. Nothing he could do would bring her back to him any more. She'd left him. Telling him she didn't want to see him anymore.

'_Damn you…_'

****

_No it's not in my head_

_I can't awaken the dead_

_Day after day._

****

He bent his over his glass, pressing the rim against his forehead. He realised the container was empty, and gestured for the barman to pour him another. The liquor hit the back of his throat hard.

****

_Why don't we talk about it?_

_Why do you always doubt_

_That there could be a better way?___

****

He laid a couple of bills on the bar, and got shakily to his feet, heading for the door.

****

_It doesn't make me want to stay._

****

He pulled open the door, and stepped into the welcoming arms of the night. Somewhere, a clock tolled midnight, the end of Friday, and the start of Saturday.

****__

_Why don't we break up?_

_There's nothing left to say_

_I've got my eyes shut,_

_Praying they won't stray_

_And we're not_

_Sexed up,_

_That's what makes the difference today._

_I hope you blow away._

****

Meanwhile, sitting in an almost empty bedroom, silently fingering the plain cross hung around her neck, a purple haired girl was staring out into the darkness outside.

"Kaji-kun…" 

She knew why she had broken up with him. He wasn't good for her. He distracted her from school. The time wasn't right.

All good reasons. 

All bullshit.

****

_You say we're fatally flawed_

_Well I'm easily bored_

_Is that okay?_

****

She could still taste him on her lips, if she thought hard enough. She could still smell him in the small room. She closed her eyes, and stood up, picking up the small teddy he had won for her at a fair.

****

_Strike me off your list_

_Make this the last kiss_

_I'll walk away._

****

The look on his face as he'd closed the door behind him. Those big puppy-dog eyes that she loved…

She stopped the thought dead. She couldn't face it right now. Her hand clasped tightly around the cross, the same one she had been wearing the day of second impact, its edges digging into her palm. She kept her eyes closed tightly, holding back tears. 

If only she could have told him the truth.

If only she could…

****

_Why don't we talk about it?_

_I'm only here, _

_Don't shout it_

_Given time we'll forget._

****

She tried desperately to delete the face from her mind. But it merged with another from her memory, reminding her of the real reason she has broken up with her lover.

****

_Let's pretend we never met…_

****

Her father's face, as he laid her in the escape capsule, Kaji's face, as he leant in to kiss her…

****

_Why don't we break up?_

_There's nothing left to say_

_I've got my eyes shut,_

_Praying they wont stray,_

_And we're not sexed up_

_That's what makes the difference today._

_I hope you blow away._

****

His fist slammed into the wall, bruising his knuckles in the complete irrational anger that overtook the misery in his soul. He'd wanted to say the words, god but he had! She hadn't given him the chance, goddammit!

He let the tears come.

How the hell could she get to him like this, that purple haired bitch!

****

_Screw you_

_I didn't like your taste anyway._

****

What the hell had he done for this? There had been something else, other than the reasons she had given. Something in her eyes. He glanced up into the window of the shop whose wall he'd just hurt his hand on. His bleary face looked back at him, a trace of stubble on his jaw. He decided to leave it there. You never know, maybe it'd attract someone else.

****

_I chose you,_

_And that's all gone to waste, _

_It's Saturday._

_I'll go out and find another you._

****

He turned away, and began to walk down the street, barely shaking as the alcohol began to withdraw from his system. He felt the bile rise in his throat, and repressed it. He hadn't thrown up after drinking in years, and damned if he was gonna start again for Misato's sake. He swore, and glanced up at her apartment window.

****

_Why don't we…_

****

At that moment, Misato turned back to the window, and looked out to see a forlorn figure standing across the way. Even from this distance, she could tell it was him. Lightly, almost unconsciously, she reached up, and placed her fingertips against the glass. He reached a hand up in tired salute, in a wordless communion between them.

****

_Why don't we break up?_

_There's nothing left to say_

****

His hand dropped to his side, and he turned away.

****

_I've got my eyes shut_

_Praying they wont stray.___

****

A pair of brown eyes followed him down the street, as he walked out of her life. Her hand finally dropped from the window's cool surface, and she reached up to close the curtains.

****

_And we're not sexed up_

_That's what makes the difference today._

_I hope you blow away._

_I hope you blow away._

_Just blow away._

****

=============================================================================================================

(a/n)

Yay! First ever Eva slush fic! I've never written one before, and since you'll probably all think this is crap, I probably never will again, so here ya go. I couldn't remember offhand whether you COULD see Misato's necklace on the flashbacks to 2nd impact, so forgive me if I got it wrong. I was just too lazy to go and check my DVDs. ^_^.

Dedicated to all the Misato Fans on Animezone: UK.. Evne tho they aren't gonna read it. Ever. Lol.

-Ben.


End file.
